2 experiences that led to hospitalisation as an involuntary patient

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by stephanie, May 18, 2017.

  1. stephanie

    stephanie Wanderer

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    Hi, my name is Steph.
    I usually keep to myself to avoid judgement or conflict but I'm hoping someone can help me make sense of two dreams I had.. the first I was awake though in another state of consciousness if that makes sense...the second I was asleep, completely out of it after not sleeping 5 nights in a row.

    2 years ago I reached the point where everything was too much to handle. I was in an abusive relationship, fighting with family constantly and leaving uni due to an inability to study...
    One night I remember sitting on the couch watching a movie with my family..I jumped up off the couch though it felt like I was still sitting down, I wandered over to the kitchen and looked up. I could see what was left of a house after a fire...there were still bits of ash and rubble falling around me...the roof was completely gone...this part is tricky to explain...I could see three entities ascending upwards towards a light..they were not in physical form but I knew it was my mother, father and brother...I watched them leave...
    I remember the words "So that is what happened here" enter my mind...

    I went to bed and woke up the next morning and collapsed in the kitchen
    I was hospitalised for over a month and told the hallucination was psychosis .....
    Even though I didnt deny it I felt like there was more to it..


    The second experience occurred while I was staying at a house with many random people coming and going.
    I had been awake for 5 nights and passed out on the couch in the living room..from previous experience..when I fall asleep after that long I'm usually out cold for nearly 24 hours.

    In my dream, everything was pitch black...then i could vividly see a man reaching over to touch me..
    I then jolted or had a convulsion/seizure and shot upright and opened my eyes while already shouting
    'get the f**k away from me' there was enough light from my phone screen to see one of the men who was also staying at the house, he was in shock with his arm still reaching towards me. He left the room.
    He then told me he was attempting to cover me with a blanket because I seemed cold...there was no blanket.

    I told a couple of friends who have said 'its just the psychotic features of your illness' or 'thats sleep paralysis' which I've learnt could not have been at all...

    can anybody shed some light on what is happening because my dreams are becoming more vivid...though it feels more like I'm watching footage from the news...seeing such bad things occur.....I rarely sleep at all now.
     
    Nameless likes this.
  2. subtle traveler

    subtle traveler Vanguard

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    Hi Steph ... welcome to the forum.

    This is a safe place to talk about this kind of stuff. I read your stories and questions, but I am having a difficult time directly answering them because I feel that I need some clarifying information about each experience. So, I have two questions (first) before attempting to clarify and then answer your questions.

    Do you meditate?

    Do you keep a written journal of your non-physical experiences?

    Meditation can be very helpful for engendering and maintaining a sense of balance and inner calm in our life (even while crazy stuff is happening around us). A journal allows us to document our perceptions and experiences with more accurate detail, before we seek input from others.

    I know that sharing experiences like this is not easy. However, I really like something that you stated after your first experience ... "I felt like there was more to it" ... because many of us here know exactly what you are talking about when you say that. You are in a helpful place here.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
  3. Plume

    Plume Trailblazer

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    Bienvenue Stephanie,
    You can feel reassured that you are safe, this is a journey that will only make you become the strong person you are meant to be.
    A good practice of making notes and meditation is definitely a good start. Be patient and dont worry about the fear that you have, it is revealing to you what your beliefs are and what you focus on.
    Tourloo
     
  4. Karin

    Karin Trailblazer

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    Hi Stephanie, welcome here!

    I am not an expert but from the little I know I suspect there is indeed a lot more to psychosis than "just a mental disorder". I suspect people experiencing psychosis might be tuning to parallel realities while awake, or experiencing a superposition of different realities. Maybe induced by tremendous stress or sleep deprivation, etc... Also, some people are born with a tendency to be more open or less able to focus tightly on one reality only (like most of us do). When we sleep or are about to fall asleep, this tight focus on physical reality loosens and we experience dream realities, either in regular dreams, or lucid dreams, out of body experiences, sleep paralysis and accompanying "hallucinations", etc.... and that usually goes smoothly and is considered "normal". But maybe in cases of severe sleep deprivation like what you describe, this unfocusing from physical reality can occur while wide awake. In some cultures, people having a natural talent for being less focused in physical reality and more open to other dimensions are trained by the local shaman. In our culture, there is no such support and it is considered a mental affliction.

    Take the above with a grain of salt, as I said I don't really know what I am talking about. But what I wanted to say is maybe you do have a natural gift for exploring other dimensions, and if you can find ways to get enough sleep, a healthy environment with minimum stress, and focusing on the positive as much as possible, you could explore these states without all the pain and suffering and disruption to your life. Easier said than done, I know.

    Anyways, good for you to be looking for new ideas on what happened to you!
     
  5. novice

    novice Navigator Staff Member

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    Stephanie,
    Welcome to the EIC forums.

    All of our members come here because we are more comfortable discussing these experiences with others who believe and have experienced similar things. No one will judge you here.

    As to your experiences, it's difficult to say given what you told us. In addition to Subtle Traveler's questions, I'll ask a few others.

    In your first experience, you mention seeing three beings floating up as if after death. I believe these were your family members. However you didn't tell us if those members were actually dead and whether or not their deaths happened before or after that experience. This is important because while prophetic dreams do occur they are not very common. What is common is having very real, very emotionally intense dreams that are metaphoric instead of literal, especially if you have a lot of emotional things happening physically. You mentioned an abusive relationship at the time as well as arguments with family, which makes me think this dream was your subconscious working through all of the negativity you had been experiencing with your family.

    This does not mean your dream was 'just a dream. It wasn't, at least not in the way most people perceive dreams. This is why ST suggested a dream journal. By writing down your dreams each morning, not just what happened in the dreams but also how you felt and what you thought within each dream, you'll start seeing patterns and understanding symbols. Dreams are your subconscious dealing with what is causing you emotional distress. I understand that the dreams can be very real and very horrible and that your initial thought is that they must also be physically real as well, but that's not necessarily the case.

    I know you don't know me, and I don't want you to think I'm trivializing your experience with that dream, so let me give you a few personal examples of what I'm describing.

    I grew up with an alcoholic father and then married an emotionally abusive man whom I later divorced. I also had to leave university after 2 years because I ran out of money. I have had many different non-physical experiences since I was a child, including a few prophetic dreams. So my history has some parallel threads to your own.

    The prophetic dreams I had were real to me. Meaning I saw them as if they were happening right then and there. I experienced them as if i were physically awake and watching it happen. Not once did it occur to me that I was asleep. I believed it had happened and actually debated with my neighbor at the time because he said it hadn't happened. The event we were debating happened exactly as I saw it 3 days later. I didn't know until then that what I had seen wasn't physically real.

    I have had many, many vividly real dreams that I remembered upon waking and knew that I had dreamed them. My dreams have included feeling the cold, hard metal of a gun barrel pressed to my temple; slitting a woman's throat; being chased by tornadoes; drowning in a turbulent sea and feeling salt water filling my mouth as I fight to breathe.

    All of those snippets of dreams felt so real to me at the time. I can remember my feelings in each one. However, what they all have in common is that they were my way of dealing with my own thoughts and feelings and experiences. Death in dreams is usually a good metaphor. If your family is still alive, the dream was probably a metaphor showing you either what they were trying to do or showing how you feel about what they did. A way of viewing it and dealing with it to help you release the negativity related to it. Maybe the burnt home was a symbol like burning bridges. Seeing the floating up to a light could represent that they are metaphorically dead to you but you see them float towards a white light, so maybe a part of you believes that their motives were pure.

    I don't know if any of this is correct, but I'm trying to show you that dreams have a language of symbols that should rarely get interpreted as literal. They also usually involve guides in the dreams to help you work through the more difficult ones. I remember several dreams in which I had to kill someone or someone died and it cut me so deeply that I collapsed in the dream crying so hard that guides came and carried me away. Powerful dreams can be very frightening, but they are almost always for the best because they help you process and deal with physical challenges in life.

    Last, sleep paralysis does exist and is usually a pre-cursor to OBE. It happens to everyone when they fall asleep but most people are not physically conscious when it occurs. It can be frightening as you will feel as if your body is frozen or paralyzed and you cannot move it. However, if you remain calm and wait you will soon find yourself floating out of your physical body.

    Sometimes people see frightening images during this stage. Sometimes people can see their surroundings with their eyes closed because their energy body is loosening to separate. That sounds like what may have happened here. If you were asleep and saw him and he was physically there when you woke, then you probably saw him with your energy body.
     
  6. Szaxx

    Szaxx Navigator

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    Hi Stephanie, welcome to the forum.
    First thing is most of what you are experiencing isn't likely to be psychosis at first glance. The world is just starting to see there's more to life than life itself. Your brief description of the experiences could be the start of a journey into the unknown as most would say. However, some of us here have been in similar situations where the scene, like what you saw actually occurred and was headline news later.
    I do hope we can put your mind to rest and find answers to your experiences.
     
  7. Bee

    Bee Navigator Staff Member

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    Hi Steph,


    Welcome to EIC. ;)

    Bee
     
  8. Nameless

    Nameless Voyager

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    Hello Steph, welcome to EIC. I think you will find this forum to be one of the best at helping you work through your experiences. We are all learning and helping each other as we go. We don't claim to have all the answers, I certainly don't, but we know what we know. You won't get any ridicule here.
     

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